It's Boxing Day. There's a tin of chocolates on the coffee table with only the coconut ones left, someone's asleep in the armchair, and you keep catching the ring out of the corner of your eye. Your phone hasn't stopped buzzing since yesterday. Half the messages say congratulations. The other half say "so when's the wedding?"
First things first: congratulations! If you got engaged over Christmas, you're in good company. Queensmith's 2024 Marriage Proposal Report (as reported by Crave Magazine) found that over 11% of UK proposals happen in December.
Once the excitement settles and the leftover turkey's gone, a lot of couples hit the same wall: where on earth do you start? Pinterest is overwhelming, everyone has an opinion, and you haven't even worked out who's getting the ring cleaned.
So here are ten simple first steps. They're the things I'd do if I'd just got engaged in the North East, from someone who spends every wedding season seeing how the planning plays out on the day. None of them need doing this week.
Quick answer: Just engaged? Enjoy it for a few weeks first. Then talk about the kind of day you want, agree a rough budget, think about the season and write a first guest list, because those four things make venue hunting much easier. Once you have a date and venue, book the suppliers who can only do one wedding a day, such as photographers and bands.
1. Enjoy being engaged for a bit
Honestly, there's no rush. You don't need a venue booked by New Year's Day. Take a couple of weeks to enjoy it, tell the people who matter, and have a proper celebration. The planning will still be there in January, and you'll make better decisions once the Quality Street has run out.
One practical bit while you're at it: get the ring sized if it needs it, and add it to your home insurance.
2. Talk about what kind of wedding you actually want
Before you look at a single venue, sit down together with a brew and talk about the feel of the day. Big party or small and close? Country house, barn, beach or register office? Dressed up or relaxed? Are there traditions you definitely want, or definitely don't?
It helps to ask a slightly different question too: when you picture the best bit of the day, what's happening? For some couples it's the ceremony. For others it's the moment the band starts and their mates storm the dance floor. Your answer tells you a lot about where to put your time and money. This one conversation saves a lot of debates later.
3. Have the money chat
It's not the fun part, but it's the most useful. Work out roughly what you can spend, whether family are contributing, and what matters most to you both. If photography, food or the venue is the thing you care about, decide that early and protect it in the budget, because everything else will try to nibble at it. My guide to planning your wedding budget goes into more detail.
4. Pick a rough season (and stay open about it)
Most couples default to a summer Saturday, which is exactly why those dates go first. Have a think about whether spring, autumn or even winter would suit you. Winter is properly off-peak, and a cosy country house wedding with candles and a fire can be lovely. A Friday or a Sunday opens up even more choice. Being a bit flexible is the single easiest way to get the venue you love rather than the one that happened to be free.
5. Make a first guest list
Your guest list shapes almost everything else: the venue, the budget and the feel of the day. Don't worry about getting it right yet. Write down the "definitely" people first, then the "would like to" people, and you'll quickly see whether you're planning for 40 guests or 140. That one number will knock half the venues off your list straight away, which is a good thing.
6. Shortlist a few local venues
Once you know your rough numbers and style, start looking. Across Teesside and North Yorkshire there's a brilliant mix: country houses like Gisborough Hall, the coast at Saltburn with Rushpool Hall, Danby Castle out on the moors, and smaller, more personal options like Kirkleatham Walled Garden. My recommended wedding venues page has more ideas if you’re building a shortlist.
Visit two or three in person, and go on a grey day if you can, because that tells you more than a sunny one. Ask where you'd go if it rained. You'll usually know quite quickly which one feels right. Wedding fairs are a handy way to see a venue dressed for a wedding and meet suppliers in person, and you can find North East and Yorkshire wedding fairs listed online.
Once you've got a venue in mind, Check My Availability. I'll let you know if I'm free, and there's never any pressure to book.
7. Understand the legal bit
In England and Wales, you both have to give notice at your local register office at least 29 days before the ceremony, and the ceremony has to take place within 12 months of giving notice. Your venue and the registrar will talk you through the details, but it's good to know the timings early so nothing catches you out. GOV.UK has a clear guide on how to get married in England and Wales, and for Teesside couples the council sets out the local Redcar & Cleveland marriage steps.
You may also have seen in the news that the government is looking at changing where you can legally marry. Those changes are proposals for now, so plan around the rules as they stand today.
8. Book the suppliers who get booked up first
Once you have a date and venue, the suppliers who can only do one wedding a day tend to go first: photographers, videographers, bands and some celebrants. Hitched notes that many couples book their photographer at least a year in advance, and popular summer Saturdays can go even earlier.
When you're looking at photographers, look at full galleries, not just highlights. Anyone can pick twenty good photos from a year of weddings. A full gallery shows you what your whole day would look like, from the getting ready to the last song. Then have a chat on the phone or a video call. You'll be spending your whole day with this person, so it matters that you get on. Here are some questions to ask your wedding photographer if you want a head start.
9. Think about a pre-wedding shoot
A pre-wedding shoot isn't about getting a fancy photo for the mantelpiece, although that's a nice bonus. It's an hour together somewhere you love, and by the wedding day your photographer is someone you've already met and had a laugh with. If you're a bit unsure in front of a camera, it helps with that too.
Round here there are some cracking spots: the beach at Saltburn, Guisborough Forest, or out on the moors. Roseberry Topping is a favourite, but it's a National Trust property and photography there has to be arranged with them in advance. There's more in my pre-wedding photoshoot guide to the North East.
10. Don't let it take over your life
Wedding planning has a habit of expanding to fill every spare evening. Set yourselves a "no wedding talk" night each week, and keep everything in one shared spreadsheet or folder so nobody's hunting through old texts for the florist's quote. And remember the point of it all: a brilliant day with the people you love. Nobody at your wedding will remember the napkin colour, but they'll remember whether you looked like you were having a good time.
A gentle timeline for the year ahead
If you're thinking about a 2027 or 2028 wedding, here's a relaxed order of play. January and February are for the guest list, the budget and a few venue visits, which is handy, because nobody wants to go out much then anyway. Once the venue's booked, look at your photographer, your celebrant or registrar, and the other one-per-day suppliers. If you like seeing how other couples are planning, the Bridebook wedding trends page is worth a look.
Spring or summer is a lovely time for a pre-wedding shoot, when the evenings are long and the light's kind. Six to nine months before, you'll be onto outfits, flowers and invitations. In the final three months, it's timings, the family photo list and final numbers. That's it. It looks a lot less scary written down.
Questions couples ask
What should we do first after getting engaged?
Enjoy it. There's no rush to book anything by New Year's Day, so take a couple of weeks to celebrate and tell the people who matter. One practical job while you're at it: get the ring sized if it needs it, and add it to your home insurance. When you're ready, talk about the kind of day you want before you look at a single venue.
How far in advance do we need to give notice to marry?
In England and Wales, you both have to give notice at your local register office at least 29 days before the ceremony, and the ceremony has to take place within 12 months of giving notice. The government has consulted on changing where you can legally marry, but those changes are proposals for now, so plan around the rules as they stand today.
When should we book our wedding photographer?
Once you have a date and venue. Photographers, videographers, bands and some celebrants can only do one wedding a day, so they tend to get booked up first. Hitched notes that many couples book their photographer at least a year in advance, and popular summer Saturdays can go even earlier. When you're comparing photographers, always ask to see full galleries.
Should we think about a season other than summer?
It's worth a thought. Most couples default to a summer Saturday, which is exactly why those dates go first. Spring, autumn and even winter can suit a wedding brilliantly, and winter is properly off-peak, so you'll usually have more choice of dates. A cosy country house wedding in December can be every bit as lovely as a summer one.
Is a pre-wedding shoot worth doing?
I think so. It isn't about getting a fancy photo for the mantelpiece. It's an hour together somewhere you love, and by the wedding day your photographer is someone you've already met. Round here, the beach at Saltburn, Guisborough Forest and the moors are all lovely. Roseberry Topping is a favourite, but photography there has to be arranged with the National Trust.
About me
I'm Aaron, a wedding photographer based in Guisborough. I photograph weddings across North Yorkshire, Teesside and the North East in a natural, documentary way: I tell the story of your day as it happens, so you can spend it with your people rather than posing. You can read more about me, or get in touch whenever you're ready.
Tell Me About Your Wedding
If you're already picturing a relaxed, sociable day with your favourite people rather than a formal, by-the-book wedding, you're exactly who I love photographing.
There's no rush to decide everything this month. But couples are already booking for 2027, and I can only photograph one wedding a day, so once you have a date it's worth checking I'm free.
Here's what happens when you get in touch: tell me your date and venue (or your rough plans, if you're not there yet), and I'll let you know if I'm free and send over my packages. If you'd like, I'm happy to have a quick, no-pressure chat on the phone or a video call. If it feels right, a £100 booking fee holds your date. If not, no hard feelings at all.